I Forgot My Notebook Today

Today I forgot my notebook to take notes during class.

Luckily my very first class of the day is with Julie and she gave me some notebook paper that I could use for the rest of the day. But it just set everything up for the rest of my day.

After my first class and realizing I forgot my notebook, I rushed to institute class where I sat down and wanted to get a drink out of my water bottle, only to realize I must've forgotten my water bottle in my first class because it was not in my back pack. In institute our lesson was about being morally clean. So I sat there and thought about my sister the whole time. And I came to the realization again that I think too much about helping her instead of helping myself.

I called my Mom after institute and complained about how overwhelmed I am. I felt like I caught up a lot last week after missing all my classes the week before. But I only caught up on actual homework. I still have a lot of reading to catch up on. And midterms start a week from today! I made a schedule this morning about dedicating each day this week to a different class to catch up on reading. The only problem is, I don't know when I'll have time each day to catch up!

And I'm not motivated enough to do this right now. I can't believe midterms are next week! This term is going by fast. I'm not prepared for my senior year to be going by so fast.

Work wasn't much better. We ran out of refried beans, and I made a sign saying we were out. Can no one read in college anymore? I swear nobody read my sign. And especially after that, every little thing was getting on my nerves. People were really starting to irritate me. Luckily, we were able to clean and close early, so that was nice.

When I left work I started to walk home. And I just cried. I just needed to cry. I got about half way home before I remembered I rode my bike this morning. So I didn't even have to walk, I could've just rode my bike back. So I cried a little harder.

But you know what, it's ok. Life's fine. Yeah, I'm pretty overwhelmed. But I'm still grateful I'm in school and getting an education. And I've done school pretty well without having motivation. I can do it. I don't want to, but I can. I'm also grateful I have a job, even though I'm annoyed with it sometimes. And I'm grateful for my sister too. I really don't like her right now, but I still love her. And in the bigger picture, she's actually been a big reason in making me who I am today. I don't think I would love Human Services as much as I do if it weren't for her. I wouldn't know how much of a passion I have helping people and wanting to make their lives better if it weren't for her.

So yeah, life isn't especially awesome right now. But it's still working out.